Slim-Fast

I am a Slim-Fast junkie. For two years I have started my day with a frozen/shushy can of Slim-Fast. Why frozen you ask? It has to be. In order to indulge my passion at 7:30, I need to deposit an upside-down can in the freezer two and a half hours earlier. Why an upside down can? It's much easier to open with a can opener. I can then slide it into a cooler cup and eat it with a spoon. This usually happens while I'm wrapped up in a sweater watching "Morning Joe." I also hoard it. MY two favorite flavors are cappuccino delight and creamy milk chocolate. At this time I have five cases stacked up in my garage. Although my husband who is somewhat of a "neat freak" does not like stuff stacked in the garage, he has learned to pick his battles. I also stock-pile Tide.

Day 55: Edmund

Me: Think of something you measure in ounces?

Edmund: A bullet.

Me: I was thinking of a candy bar or maybe a can of Pepsi. Think of something you would measure in pounds?

Edmund: A box of bullets.

Me: A little baby weighs a couple of pounds or maybe a big, thick book like a dictionary. Think of something that weighs a ton?

Edmund: A bazooka.

Me: Do you mean bubble gum?

Edmund: No, it's a missile launcher, you use it to blow things up.

Me: Can you think of something that is not a gun?

Edmund: How about fifty bazookas?

Slut Daddy and Slut Momma

Okay, here's my take on why they got married. NBC offered Slut Daddy a huge amount of cash plus free airfare to NYC to appear on the Today Show along with Slut Teen Live-in Girlfriend. SD probably used some of the cash to spring for an engagement ring and make it legal between him and STLI. Together they could fly to New York, stay in a big fancy hotel and pretend for a while that everything was fine. So they quickly threw together a backyard wedding. Teen Bride looked pretty in her bright white wedding dress. Friends and family got in on the official wedding portrait, some even wore their "I Love Haleigh" t-shirts for the happy occasion. Bio Mom then got jealous of all the attention. After all, she is the real mom and she didn't get a diamond ring or a trip to New York City. So she cooks up this scheme about Ron being an abuser because the kids did have a few scratches and bruises. She gets a blond lawyer and they both go on the Nancy Grace Show but no trip to New York. I think that SD probably raises his kids the way he was raised, with a rather firm hand. I don't think he's an abuser. He was providing them with a nice double-wide trailer home. Misty took care of them while he was at work. Besides a little second-hand smoke, the kids appeared healthy and happy in the pictures and Christmas videos.
However, there is something in this story that does not add up. Maybe Slut Momma left the trailer to go buy cigarettes and while she was gone, some unknown came in through an unlocked door and got Haleigh. I feel sorry for both of them as well as sweet little Haleigh.

Book Review

I like to save time by taking advantage of our local library's website. Since I am a 99.9% non-fiction reader, I can usually tell by the title if it would be time-worthy. Here's my latest review:

• Mrs. Lincoln: a Life, I love everything about Lincoln and I loved this one, lots of interesting facts and an easy read at that.
• Extreme Birds: just a big,colorful picture book but unfortunately most of these birds are not native to mid-America.
• The Kings Reign, Anheuser-Busch, a history of the Busch family with lots of neat pictures, haven't gotten into it yet.
• River Town: two years of the Yangtze, I've always been facinated with China and as I got into this book, I realized that it's writer, Peter Hessler is from Missouri. He records the two years he spent teaching in Fuling, a town of 200,000 along the Wu River.

Day 50

What's the first thing I do when I get home?
Take off my diamonds of course!!